The 3 Mistakes I Made When I Was Diagnosed with Cancer (And What They Taught Me)

 by Kathryn White

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, my world turned upside down. I felt like I’d been thrown into a foreign land without a map, expected to navigate a landscape of medical jargon, emotional turbulence, and life-altering decisions. Looking back, I can clearly see the missteps I made in those early days. I’m sharing them here because I do not want to hide my reality. And I am not sharing from a place of regret, but from a place of growth, because each one taught me something essential about how to truly live and thrive, even with cancer.

The 3 Mistakes I Made

1. I Thought I Had to Do It All Alone

I remember sitting in the doctor’s office, nodding along as I was given treatment options, pretending I was fine. Inside, I was overwhelmed and terrified. But instead of reaching out, I pulled inward. I didn’t want to burden anyone. I didn’t want to seem weak.

Looking back, this was one of my biggest mistakes.

Cancer is not something you should go through alone. The emotional and physical toll is simply too much to carry by yourself. It wasn’t until I finally let people in - friends, family, support groups - that I realized how much strength there is in connection. Asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s community. And it’s one of the bravest things you can do. Asking for help is a super power.

2. I Dismissed Holistic Practices as “Extras”

In the beginning, I put all my energy into the medical side of things—surgery, chemotherapy, follow-ups. I thought if I just followed the plan, I’d get through it. I saw things like nutrition, meditation, energy work, and emotional healing as “bonus” tools—nice, but not necessary. I tried some and did the best I could with what I had in me at the time.

Eventually, though, I hit a wall. My body was exhausted, my mind foggy, and my spirit depleted. I knew I needed something more.

That’s when I started exploring holistic healing—not as a replacement for medical treatment, but as a vital complement to it. I began to see the power of nourishing my whole self: body, mind, and spirit. From gratitude practices and meditation to anti-inflammatory foods to mindset shifts, these practices became essential in my recovery and beyond.

If I could go back, I would have started integrating these sooner. Holistic healing gave me back a sense of agency, and it helped me feel like a participant in my healing—not just a patient.

3. I Was Too Quick to “Stay Positive” (And Why That Was Okay)

Here’s the thing: I’m naturally optimistic. So when I was diagnosed, my instinct was to slap on a smile and say, “I’ve got this.” I told myself to stay positive, be grateful, and focus on the good.

And while a positive mindset can be a powerful tool, I later realized that in my determination to stay upbeat, I was at times pushing down the very real, raw emotions I needed to feel - fear, anger, grief. I didn’t give myself permission to fall apart, which is something we all need to do sometimes.

But here’s the positive spin: that mistake taught me the difference between toxic positivity and true resilience. It taught me that real strength includes vulnerability. That healing isn't linear. That feeling all of it - the mess and the magic - is what makes us human.

We all make mistakes, especially when faced with something as life-shaking as a cancer diagnosis. The good news? Each mistake can become a stepping stone. Each one holds a lesson. And when we learn from them, we move from merely surviving to truly thriving.

If you're on this path, be gentle with yourself. You’re not meant to do it perfectly. You’re meant to grow.

There is a lot to navigate when you are living with cancer. When you have guidance and tools in your life you start to reclaim your life and choose to learn how to live with cancer. Cancer does not get to control your life, you do. 

To learn more about reclaiming your life and choosing to learn how to live with cancer join me in my free 7 Day Get Thriving Mini-Course. Sign up for my newsletters and get immediate access to the course. Explore this mini-course that shows you some of the key fundamentals to becoming a cancer thriver.

Ready to dive into your thriving life? Join my Living to Thrive monthly membership. Get once a month group coaching calls, access to downloadable materials, audios, videos and more. All for just $37 a month. You can learn more about Living to Thrive here. 

If you would like to know more about the concept of living with cancer, I have written a book all about my personal experience with moving from survivor to thriver. In my book I offer anecdotes and strategies that will encourage you to learn how to thrive with cancer. You can get a copy of Living to Thrive: a holistic guide to living with cancer here.

Kathryn White is a Certified Holistic Cancer Coach who supports women to turn their cancer diagnosis into a thriving story one woman at a time.