Episode 4.17 Breaking the Loop: How to Navigate Mistakes without Getting Stuck
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[00:00:00] Kathryn White: Welcome to The Living to Thrive With Cancer Podcast. A podcast about the big and little issues that come with living with cancer. I'm Kathryn White, a stage four colon cancer. Thriver passionate about supporting others who have faced a cancer diagnosis and are looking to feel empowered in taking back control of their health and happiness.
[00:00:19] My own walk with Cancer helped me to learn more about myself and how to live with cancer, and it led me to become a holistic cancer coach so I can support others to move from survivor. To thrive, so let's get started.
[00:00:35] Welcome to episode 4.17 of The Living to Thrive With Cancer Podcast. Today we are talking about breaking the loop, how to navigate mistakes without getting stuck. So today's episode is all about mistakes. More specifically, how the way we think. About our mistakes can cause unnecessary stress and keep us stuck in what I like to call thought loops.
[00:00:59] If you've ever found yourself replaying a situation over and over again, wondering what you should have done differently or beating yourself up for something you said or didn't say, then this episode is for you. In My Living To Thrive membership, we are exploring the theme of navigating mistakes this month.
[00:01:15] So when I thought about the idea of how to navigate mistakes when it comes to cancer, it made me think of when I have recurring thoughts and stories that I just keep telling myself, which as I mentioned, I call thought loops. So we're going to look at what this phrase actually means and how you can break the cycle of the thought loop.
[00:01:36] If you are a new listener, I would like to welcome you to the podcast. I'm Kathryn White, a stage four colon cancer thriver, using my stories and experience to guide you through your walk with cancer. As a holistic cancer coach, I wanna help to support you through creating a health building lifestyle, managing your stress, and helping you to navigate the day in and day out stuff that comes.
[00:01:57] When you have cancer, if you find what you hear today to be helpful, please share it with other people who could also use support and benefit. From this episode. Sharing helps me to support more people and to help them to move from survivor to thriver. I. You can go ahead and subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening, follow it on YouTube, and I would love for you to head to the show notes and get your name on my weekly email list so you can follow my path to thriving with cancer and how I'm using what I've learned to support you in your walk with cancer and towards your goal of becoming cancer Thriver two.
[00:02:32] And when you sign up, you'll get a free download gift from me to you. So let's be honest, living with cancer brings a whole new level of decision making into your life. Decisions about treatment, nutrition, rest, relationships, work, you name it. And with those decisions come opportunities to second guess yourself.
[00:02:58] You may ask yourself things like, did I choose the right treatment path? Should I have asked more questions? Why did I eat that when I said I wouldn't? Why didn't I rest more this week? There's just so many questions that are going to come up in your mind, and these are the kind of questions that can quickly spiral into those mental loops, those thought loops, and that's where we begin to get stuck.
[00:03:21] So what exactly is a thought loop? A thought loop is a repetitive pattern of thinking that doesn't lead to a resolution or action. It's like being on a mental hamster wheel. You keep running, but you never actually get anywhere. So let's say that you had a hard conversation with someone about your cancer story.
[00:03:44] Maybe you didn't express yourself in the way that you wanted to, and later your brain starts spinning, saying, why did I say that? Did I offend them? I should have just kept quiet. Now they probably think I'm weak. All of these thoughts and more that are going to come up when you're second guessing yourself because you're just feeling so overwhelmed before you know it, the conversation has ended in real life.
[00:04:12] The other person has moved on, but you are still running the story on repeat. That's a thought loop and it is exhausting, and it takes away your joy in the moment. When you spend time ruminating on things that have happened that you can't change. You may want to have go back in time and fix them, but that's not possible.
[00:04:34] So what it is, is being stuck. And not knowing how to move forward, and that's what we're here to try to work on today. So part of these thought loops is the fact that they cause stress. So when you're caught in this cycle of thinking, your nervous system doesn't get a chance to relax, your brain interprets repetitive worry as a problem that still needs to be solved.
[00:04:59] And this triggers the stress response that releases the cortisol, that stress hormone that keeps your body in a heightened state of alert. So let's just be really clear here. This is not what your body needs when it's trying to heal. This is why learning about the thought loops and how to navigate them is so important.
[00:05:20] Thought loops are not your friend. I. They can cause a lot of stress in your body, but they can also erode your trust in yourself. That self-trust that you need more than ever right now. The more you replay your so-called mistakes, the more you start to believe that you can't trust yourself to make good decisions, which only creates more fear and hesitation every time you're faced with a choice.
[00:05:51] So how do we break free from thought loops? How do we get these loops to stop from taking over your mind and controlling your day-to-day decision making processes, or lack of ability to make decisions because you are living in a stressed place and in a place where you are not able to trust yourself.
[00:06:15] So here's a few strategies that I use and that I like to teach my clients. The first is to name the loop. This is about awareness, about saying to yourself, I am stuck in a thought loop right now. Simply naming it can help to create some distance between you and that thought. Give you some space, give you a little bit of time because you are not the loop.
[00:06:41] You're actually the observer of the loop. If you were to step back and watch the situation playing itself out, you can watch what happened. You can watch your brain, you can watch your physical reactions as you get caught up in this loop. So the first thing that you want to be able to do is say, oh, I see what's happening here.
[00:07:04] I am stuck in a thought loop. And then ask yourself, this is the second piece. Ask yourself a grounding question, we wanna come back to ourselves when we're in this space. So try asking yourself something like, is this thought helping me to heal? Or is it keeping me stuck? And get really curious about that.
[00:07:26] Is this thought helping me to heal or is it keeping me stuck? If it's not moving you towards a place of peace or resolution or growth, then it's a loop that needs to be interrupted. There is so much that you can learn about yourself and about life with cancer when you recognize what your thoughts are and what is happening.
[00:07:50] So ask yourself that grounding question, is this helping me to heal or is this keeping me stuck? And then the next step is to redirect your energy. Just choosing a small and intentional action is going to help you to interrupt that thought loop energy. So this could be writing down the thought and setting it aside, going for a walk, doing a breathing exercise, or listening to calming music.
[00:08:19] It's something that's going to take you out of the cycle of thinking. Something that's going to stop you from sitting yourself down or going on a walk and just replaying that scenario over and over and over. We need to. See the thought. Hear the thought. Get grounded in the thought, and interrupt that thought by redirecting the energy.
[00:08:41] So find something that is going to shift your focus out of your head and into your body. Really get connected to yourself so that you can notice that shift. You wanna notice that shift of moving from being in your head, into your body, and reducing your stress. So the final piece in this getting out of a thought loop process is practicing self-compassion.
[00:09:09] Mistakes are part of the human experience, so remind yourself, I am learning. I am doing the best I can right now with what I know. Self-compassion. It's not about letting yourself off the hook. You may need to deal with the thoughts that you're having. You may to need to find resolution. You may need to find an answer.
[00:09:31] But what self-compassion is, is about creating a space for you to grow instead of judge, we all make mistakes. Some of them are big, some of them are small. Some of them have consequences, some of them are inconsequential. But it's what you do with that thought that's going to make the difference. And this is one of the practices that I bring to my clients in our coaching, is helping them to remove those stuck thoughts from their mind.
[00:10:00] Help them to get out of stuck in thoughts, stuck in actions, and move forward. Because this whole walk with cancer is about walking forward one step at a time with self-love, self-care, and self-belief, so that you can create the life that you want to live right now. Let go of the past. Don't project into the future.
[00:10:25] Just be here grounded in yourself right now. That is what's most important. Navigating cancer is challenging enough without the extra burden of thought loops that are gonna keep you stuck in stress and self-doubt. Like I said, mistakes are gonna happen. That's life. We all make mistakes, but they don't have to define you.
[00:10:50] They don't have to derail your healing. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind the thoughts you, you can practice and practice and practice interrupting those loops. You may not get it the first time. It may take a length of time the first time. The second time and the third time. But the more you come back to yourself and the more you give yourself grace, the more freedom and peace you will begin to feel mentally and emotionally and physically.
[00:11:24] And when you are learning to live with cancer, that's exactly where you need to be. Thank you for joining me on this episode of The Living to Thrive with Cancer Podcast. If you found this conversation helpful, please share it with someone who may need a little bit of encouragement today, and don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss an episode.
[00:11:47] You can learn more about living with cancer and living to thrive with cancer. In my book, living to Thrive, a Holistic Guide to Living With Cancer, which is available on Amazon and friends, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a review wherever you're listening. Reviews help not only on the podcast, but also in the book to move it forward and bring it in front of people who are looking for support.
[00:12:12] Again, my thanks for being here today and I wanna say a big thank you for joining me in this final episode of season four and in this entire season. It is just such a gift for me to be able to share with you what I have learned and the things that I feel are important for you as you learn how to live with cancer.
[00:12:34] I'm so grateful to you for being here for all of the amazing guests that I've had on the show this season, and for just being able to be in this walk with you in season five, which is coming in September. I will have more guests on the show and more topics that I think will support you along the way.
[00:12:53] And if there's a topic that you're interested in, something that you'd like me to address, just send me an email at Hello at Kathryn White Coach and I will do my best to get it on the show. Have a really wonderful summer. Stay happy. Get out there and say yes to fun. Thank you so much for being here today.
[00:13:12] I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day and may you live your life to your fullest. Follow your heart and thrive in all you do.
